Winchester Family Therapy
by MyMixedTape
Summary: Bobby is finally fed up with the Winchester brothers' constant bickering, so he decides to take them to family therapy under fake names. Big mistake, but lucky for us, hilarity ensues!
1. Introduction

Bobby sat in front of a pile of books trying to read up on a symbol they had found branded on several victims of what the police were calling a "bear attack". He had been sitting there for hours, but had accomplished almost nothing, due to the constant bickering between the two oldest nine-year-olds he had ever seen. Sure, Sam and Dean were like sons to him, but they were quite a pain in the ass sometimes, and recently their fighting had become much, much worse.

"Would you two just shut it?" he yelled. There was a moment of silence while the incessant quarreling stopped, but it only took a second for the brothers to pick back up again. Bobby was exasperated. "That's IT! I'm done listening to you two idgits argue all the time! You've given me no choice. Next week, I'm taking you two to family therapy. I've already signed up for an appointment."

"WHAT!" They shouted in unison. "That is so not cool Bobby!" Dean yelled, his face reddening.

"Please tell me you're kidding?" Sam groaned. Bobby just shook his head angrily.

"Oh no, I am fed up you boys. You two are going to work out your damn problems if it kills me."

"Don't tempt me," Dean glowered, "And besides, just how do you expect to get us to go?"

"Well how about this? Don't go, and I'll key a nice little message into your precious Impala." Dean flinched at the thought.

"And what about me, huh?" Sam questioned. " I could care less about Dean's stupid car."

"Then I'll key your damn face. Point is, you two are going to be there."

"Why should we have to go if you aren't?" Sam whined.

"Oh I'm going. Someone's gotta be able to stop you two from killing each other, and it sure won't be any pansie psychiatrist."

Defeated, the boys stormed off, leaving Bobby to work in peace. Bobby sighed. "Dear God I hope this works."


	2. The First Session

**POV: Psychiatrist (Thomas Andrews, MD)**

I looked at the patient chart and sighed. Next appointment was pair of fighting siblings. Shocker. _Looks like today would be another painfully slow one._ I continued to read through the chart—it was short. No address, no phone numbers, no occupations, nothing. Just a brief description of their "situation". The Tyler family didn't seem to like sharing information. This would be tough. Looking at the clock he saw that it was 2:16. _Late. Of course._ I heard some talking—er, shouting—in the hallway.

"See Dean, I told you we'd be late!"

"Oh shut up princess."

"You're the one who went back for a second bacon cheeseburger!"

"Will you two shut up?"

_How very functional._ I heard the secretary try to usher them into my office, and was clearly disregarded. _Poor thing._ She was new, just out of college I think. The two brothers finally shoved their way into my office, followed by an older man. _An uncle?_ It said on the chart that the father died, but of course it didn't say how—or when. The two brothers continued to bicker, completely ignorant of their surroundings. I cleared my throat, to no avail. The older man hit the two brothers on the back of the head to quiet them down. I gestured for them to take a seat on the couch. They sat down with one brother on each side of the older man. No surprises so far.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Thomas Andrews, but feel free to call me Thomas."

One of the brothers—the taller, lankier one—spoke up. "I'm Sam Tyler, and that's Dean Tyler. This is our uncle Bobby Tyler." _So I was right about the "uncle" thing._

"Your chart says that you are here because of 'incessant arguing'. Who thought of the idea to come here?" It was always a good idea to figure out who was on my side, and who I would be fighting with for the rest of the session.

"I did." Said the uncle—Bobby, as they called him. He was a rough looking man, and he sounded angry. To be honest, he scared me a little. I was surprised he was the one encouraging this.

"And do you two agree with him that you should be here?" I questioned. Sam rolled his eyes, while his stockier older brother just glared. _Oh joy, at least they're cooperative. _I kept my smile anyway. I needed them to think that _someone_ wanted to be here, especially the older brother—Dean—who hadn't said a word since I had started speaking. "So tell me Dean, do you agree that you have been arguing a lot with Sam lately?"

"Me? I would never argue with my darling little sister, ain't that right Sammy?" Sam shot him a dirty look, but kept quiet.

"Dean, I'm going to request that you do not say anything that is intentionally offensive to your brother. In order for this session to work, we are going to have to maintain an open and positive environment." He just chuckled quietly to himself.

"What about you Sam? Do feel that there has been a lot of arguing between you and your brother recently?" I prepared myself for another sarcastic response.

"Yeah, I guess so." _At least one of them is trying._

"What do you think may have sparked this?" I pressed.

"I think it started about a month ago when Dean met my...girlfriend, Ruby. He's been really mad ever since he learned that I was hanging out with her again." A girl? _How trivial.  
_  
"I see. Dean, why is it that you don't like your brother's girlfriend?" I regretted asking as soon as I said it. This was clearly a touchy question.

"Because she's a total psychopath! She's going to get my brother killed and he doesn't even care!"

"Why do you say that? Surely your brother can handle his own decisions."

"You don't get it. She's-she's-" Bobby shot him a nervous glance. Interesting. "Oh never mind." Dean looked angry at his sudden loss for words. I would have to bring this up again later.

"Let's forget about Ruby for a minute, shall we? What else have you been arguing about?"

Dean cut in before Sam had a chance to say something he didn't like. "Well Sammy boy over here is always complaining to me about being honest, even though he's turned into a pathological liar like his demonic girlfriend." Demonic? _What an odd word choice_.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I would prefer we forget about Ruby for a while. Sam, why did you call your brother a liar?" He thought for a minute. _Good, I'm glad someone cares about what they say.  
_  
"I called him a liar because he keeps insisting that he can't remember his time in the _military_, although he has clearly been showing signs of trauma." Dean raised his eyebrows and showed a hint of a smile.

"Signs?" I questioned.

"He has nightmares all the time, and has been drinking like crazy since he got back."

"I see..." I jotted down some notes about the brothers' personalities and what they had said so far. I also took note at how on edge they were. Every time the boys brought up a new subject, their uncle would give them a look as if to tell them to watch what they were saying. _Very odd behavior_. _I wonder if the uncle is part of the problem. _So far, this had been much more interesting than he thought it would be.  
I decided to continue on with the current subject. It seemed stable enough. "So Dean, is what Sam said true? Have you been having trouble since leaving the military?" Dean let out a deep sigh.

"Look Doc, I don't think Sam explained it quite right. I was in the military, sure. But that's not the whole story. I was in the war. In fact, I was taken hostage for four months. It was..." he glanced at his brother, "like hell. I'm sorry I didn't want to make chitchat about the countless torture sessions. Yeah, I lied. Sue me. Don't you think they at least owe me some privacy after all I've been through?" Dean was getting worked up again. His eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment. Was he remembering something from the war? I pondered for a moment the theory that he had post traumatic stress disorder.

"Did you know that Sam?" I questioned, "Did you know that your brother was a prisoner of war?" Sam's face softened fractionally.

"Of course I did. We—me and Bobby, that is—were worried sick. We thought he would _never_ come back. Honestly, we thought he would rot there for _eternity_." What the younger brother said was sad, but there was something strange about how he said it, as if he was really trying to say something else. _Very weird._

"Dean, did you ever think about that? Did you think about how worried your family must have been? Did it ever occur to you that they only wanted to help?"

"I'm sure they did, but it doesn't matter. What happened in hell isn't something I want to talk about. My brother doesn't need to waste his energy worrying over me." _Hell?_

"I'm sorry, did you say hell?" Dean looked flustered.

"Uh, yeah. That's what the guys called it. Sorry, just forgot who I was talking to." Bobby seemed to let out a breath he was holding. I was going to ask another question, but the time on the clock said 3:00. Shoot, we were finally getting somewhere.

"Alright boys, I think we got a lot done today, but I don't think you've worked out your problems yet." _Ahem, Ruby_ "I'm going to suggest you sign up for a couple more sessions." The boys started to complain, but their uncle cut them off with a sharp look.

"Good idea. We'll be here tomorrow, same time." I heard the brothers mutter some swears under their breath as they got up to leave.

They left the room and wrote down some last minute observations. To the side of my notepad, I jotted down a list of topics to ask about. Ruby, "hell", past and current occupations, living arrangements, parents' deaths..._and everything else they neglected to add to their chart. _I looked at the list and shook my head. This might actually get interesting.


	3. Tyler, Dean Tyler

**POV: Dean Winchester (aka Dean Tyler)**

I couldn't believe Bobby. Not only was he making us go to this stupid shrink (again), but he was going to make us go every day until he got word from the Doc himself that we were all better. If it weren't for the not-so-mysterious disappearance of my Impala, there would be nothing stopping me from making a run for it. Needless to say, I was furious. How dare he kidnap my baby! Whatever. I would just have to bullshit my way through this until we got the all-clear, and then I would install the best damn security system money can buy.

I strolled into the Doc's office, followed by my annoying little brother and our warden. We sat down on the same couch from yesterday and waited for the Doc to speak.

"Welcome back boys!" he said in a sickeningly sweet voice. _Asshole._ "Today I thought we'd do something a little different." _Woohoo._ "I'm going to spend some time talking to you two separately, so that you can feel free to say whatever you want." _Are you KIDDING ME?_

"Oh no, not a chance!" Sam spoke up. I was glad he said that, because the Doc didn't seem to like me too much as it was.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Sammy on this. I don't really like the idea of—"

"Trust me boys, this will work out just fine. Dean, I'm going to start with you. Sam, Bobby, I'm going to ask that you wait out in the hallway." Sam and Bobby complied a little too eagerly. I'm pretty sure Sam was holding back a laugh as he walked out the door.

There was a click as the door slipped shut. It felt like the beginning of a horror flick. _All we need is some creepy music and a hot chick, and I'd bet on the Doc sprouting fangs and claws. Lucky for that girl, I'd be there to save her…_

The Doc cleared his throat, interrupting my daydream. I sighed. "Listen Tommy, I think you know I don't want to be here, and I'd bet you don't want to be here either, so let's make a deal. I'll tell Bobby that I poured my frickin heart out to you, and you'll say we made a huge breakthrough. Just tell him I'm cured or whatever and I'll be out of your hair." Seemed fair enough to me.

"First of all, Dean, I would prefer that you call me Thomas or Dr. Andrews. Secondly, I would appreciate it if you would just try and work through this. I think I can really help you and your brother." _Yeah, right. _"So tell me Dean, I know that you seemed very opposed to Sam's girlfriend—Ruby, I think. Since I'm just going to end up asking Sam about this, why don't you give me your side of the story?" I sighed. He had a point. I didn't need to have the Doc tell Sam that he was right about that demon bitch.

"Alright _Dr. Andrews_, I'll tell you about Ruby. Ever since she walked into Sam's life she's been manipulating him. She lies to him and toys with his emotions to get him to do what she wants. The worst part is that he refuses to believe me when I tell him. He's letting himself turn into a monster and—" I cut myself short after seeing the look that the Doc was giving me. He scribbled something down in his notebook. _What am I thinking? I must look insane right now._ He finished writing and spoke.

"I'll admit that I have quite a few questions about what you said, but let me start with this; how is Ruby turning your brother into a 'monster'?" _Shit. _

"Well you see Doc," _What on earth—or hell—could I say?_ "Ruby…is in the mafia." The Doc's jaw dropped. _Take that, Sam._ "Yeah, the mafia. Her whole family is. She comes from a line of manipulative bitches, and she's no different than the others, but Sam just doesn't seem to get it." I was thinking quickly now. I hid a smile. _This could be fun._ "And Sam, the poor kid, used to be a cop—he's got some intel that Ruby's family would want. When Ruby showed up, I knew she was nothing but trouble, yet my little brother just won't accept that deceitfulness is _in her blood!_ I'm just worried that he's going to get hurt." I put on my best concerned face as the poor, confused doctor soaked in what I had just said. After a minute he had finally recollected himself.

"Oh my. That certainly is a lot to deal with. I can see why you don't like Ruby. Maybe we should talk about something else instead?" _What? That wasn't gut-wrenching enough for you?_ "I noticed that your parents have both died, and at rather young ages. May I ask what happened?"

I sighed. _So now I have to talk about my real feelings?_ _Fine. _"My mom died of cancer when I was four. My dad died when I was 27. It was…a car accident."

"I'm so sorry. That must have been tough for you and your brother. I suppose you didn't know your mother very well, but what was your relationship with your father like?"

"My dad was a great guy. He taught me so much, he was just—I don't know. He was a great guy." My voice started to waver. _Come on Dean, suck it up._

The Doc wrote something on his notepad. "So you had a strong relationship, that's wonderful. It must have been nice to have a male role model in your life. How do you think that affected you?" _For starters, I wouldn't have been slaughtering vampires by the age of ten._

"Er, I guess…I guess he really taught me to look out for family. I kinda had to grow up fast for my family. I suppose that's why I ended up joining the military. I wanted to keep my brother safe." That was pretty true, at least. _That is, if you consider selling your soul in order to bring your brother back to life equal to joining the military._

"That's very sweet Dean." He said, smiling.

"Yeah, whatever." He finished jotting down some notes and started talking again.

"Well I'm glad I got the chance to talk to you. We covered a lot. However, we've been keeping your brother waiting a while and I think it's time I had a chat with him. Could you please let him know to come in on your way out?"

"Sure thing." _Finally!_ As I stood up to leave I heard him scribbling down even more notes. _What the hell could he be writing now?_

I walked out into the hallway, and gestured to Sam that it was his turn with Dr. Phil. As he passed by me, I stopped him for a moment and smiled.

"Just a heads up, I told the Doc that mom died of cancer and Dad died in a car accident. Oh yeah, I also told him that Ruby is a mafia spy and that you're an ex-cop. Have fun!" The look on his face was priceless as I walked away. _Good luck, Sammy!_

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**Quick survey! I'm thinking about having a guest appearance by another Supernatural character in an upcoming chapter. Any suggestions on who it should be? Post your response as a review, please!**


	4. Everybody Loves Sam

**POV: Sam Winchester (aka Sam Tyler)**

_What the hell Dean!_ I stood there in shock for what seemed like an hour, but soon realized that I would have to face the psychiatrist. What was I going to say? _He's going to think I'm nuts. Should've known Dean would screw everything up!_ Now I had to go in there and defend my "mafia-spy girlfriend" without looking like a total nutcase. I guess I should just be thankful he warned me.

I opened the door reluctantly. "Come in Sam, take a seat." Dr. Andrews gestured toward the couch. I say down quietly, still thinking about how I would respond to the inevitable questioning. "Well I had a very nice chat with your brother, and I hope to do the same with you today." He smiled. _What is he planning?_ "So let's just get started then, shall we? Now, yesterday you said something that surprised me a little, and I was hoping you would explain. You said that you noticed your brother having bad dreams. How is that? I would have assumed that you two were living on your own by this age." I couldn't read the doctor's facial expression. It was somewhat expectant and somewhat…suspicious? I couldn't tell.

"We've been traveling together for a while now. Dean told you that I used to be a cop, right? Well ever since Dean got back from war we decided to spend some time together. It was scary when he was gone. I felt like the world was going to end." _Literally._ "Anyway, we've been taking one big road trip ever since he got back, getting jobs along the way." _That was pretty accurate, I guess._

"Well that sounds very interesting. What kind of things did you go see?"

"Oh, the usual stuff. Landmarks, world's largest rubber band ball," _ghosts, demons, vampires… "_We just wanted to spend some time together. It's just that lately we've been having some…disagreements."

"About Ruby, I assume?"

"Er, yeah. Mostly."

"Tell me Sam, in all this time with your brother, when did you start spending time with Ruby?" _Shit. These stories were already falling through the cracks._

"Well actually, I met her before Dean got back from hel—the war. She really helped me get through those rough four months."

"That's good to hear, but I'm still curious about something. Your brother told me why he disapproved of Ruby so much. I can assume that you know that reason, but I have to wonder why it doesn't scare you at all? Are you not concerned that Ruby may not have the best intentions?" My anger was starting to show on my face. _You're going to pay for this Dean._

"Did Dean tell you that Ruby was in the mafia? Please give me a chance to explain myself. It isn't true." I had just thought of a great way to get back at Dean. _Just try and talk your way out of this one._ "Only a few weeks after Dean had come home, this guy shows up at our door while I was out and convinced my brother that Ruby was in the mafia. He gave Dean a whole long story and all this so-called "evidence" that Ruby was out to get me. I don't know where this guy came from or what his deal was, but he has been stalking us ever since. It's really creepy. The worst part is, Dean is totally cool with it. On several occasions I have woken up in the middle of the night to find them talking quietly outside our motel room." I carefully forced back my smile and spoke in the most serious tone I could manage. "To be perfectly honest, I think they've got something going on."

"Excuse me?"

"Dr. Andrews, I think Dean is gay for this man."

I had to try my absolute hardest to keep from laughing at the look on his face. Dean was going to kill me for this. _Second time's the charm._

"And what did you say this man's name was?" the doctor questioned, looking uneasy.

"Castiel"

The doctor slowly regained his senses and finally changed the subject. "You know what, I think we've done enough for today. Why don't you call your brother in and we'll wrap up today's session?"

"Sure thing." I walked out the door and gestured for Dean and Bobby to come back in. They made their way over, and I flashed Dean a big grin. His cocky face turned suspicious in an instant. _Too late, big brother._ We sat down on the couch and awaited the doctor's dismissal.

"Well," he started, "I certainly learned a lot about the two of you today." _Yeah, me too._ "Tomorrow, we'll do another group session and see what happens from there. But I must say, I'm very proud of how well you two have been opening up. You're really making some good progress." I turned to smile at Dean, but my look was intercepted by Bobby, who was clearly suspicious. "So same time tomorrow, Bobby?" Bobby spun his head toward the doctor.

"Uh, sure. We'll see you then."

As we walked out of the building, Bobby turned to me and Dean and gave us a questioning stare. "What did you two idjits do?"

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**Author's Note: I hope you're as psyched for the next chapter as I am! In case you were wondering: no, this will DEFINITELY NOT turn into a slashfic. I refuse to promote the degradation of our beloved characters!**


	5. The Truth Will Set You Free

**POV: Thomas Andrews, MD**

Time was passing ever so slowly as I awaited the next group, the Tyler family. The second hand on my watch seemed to slow as I watched it tick. I had grown fond of my time with the Tyler brothers. It was like watching some crazy, convoluted tv drama.

I heard voices coming from outside the door at about 2:03. I took out my notebook and waited for the group to walk in. To my surprise, only two of the Tylers entered the room.

"Good afternoon boys. Where is your uncle?"

"He couldn't make it today. He had something to deal with." Sam answered casually.

"Ah, well that's fine. I'm sure you'll be able to talk more freely without him here anyways. So why don't we get started then?" I waited for a response, to no avail. "Alrighty then. Dean, yesterday Sam mentioned the source of your distaste toward Ruby." Dean raised his eyebrow questioningly. Sam tried to prompt his memory.

"Remember? He's the guy who shows up at our door with another crisis at least twice a week." Dean stared blankly at his brother. Sam tried to give another hint. "You could say that he's Ruby's polar opposite."

"You mean...Cas?" Dean asked.

I nodded. "If that is short for Castiel, then yes." Dean shot a look at his brother. Sam kept his poker face. _I bet Dean has no idea that Sam knows his secret._ "So tell me Dean, what is Castiel like?"

Dean smiled. _How cute, he was happy just _thinking_ about Castiel._ I had been distrustful of Sam's statement at first, but it was becoming clear that what he had said was true. "Cas is a great guy. He has some issues with personal space, but it's cool. I always know he's looking out for me, so I can pretty much ignore his...quirks."

Alright, it was no longer a question. Sam was right. "So how would you describe your relationship with Castiel?" I was guiding him toward the truth. They had both said that they were angry about all of the lies that were being told, so I had to get the honesty flowing.

"Er, what?" Dean looked nervous. I doubt he was ever planning on admitting his secret to his brother. Luckily, Sam was a rather supportive younger brother.

"It's alright Dean, we both know. I told Dr. Andrews."

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on Dean," I pressed, "You said you were tired of the lies, right? Well you have to start somewhere."

"Look Doc, I'm afraid I have no idea—"

"Do you need me to say it for you Dean?" Sam asked. _What a caring brother. _I couldn't believe how helpful he was trying to be.

"Say what?"

"That you have feelings for Cas" Sam finally said.

Dean was clearly in shock. "Wait…you mean—no. Sam, what the hell!" He started yelling at his brother.

"Stop it Dean." I said with authority. He turned angrily to face me. "Sam did the right thing to tell me. You shouldn't have been keeping a secret like this from your brother." Dean was fuming.

"Listen to me Doc, everything Sam told you was a lie. Just pretend like you never heard—" Sam cut him off.

"Dean, you're in denial. Bobby and I both know. We accept you, and now you just need to accept yourself."

"Sammy, shut up. You know this isn't true"

"Oh really? Then how do you explain all those times you two met up in the middle of the night?"

"You knew about that?" he stammered.

"Of course I did Dean, I'm not an idiot."

Dean looked between Sam and I for support, and then stood up.

"Dean, where are you going?" I sighed

"To the bathroom. Is that a problem, Doc?" He stormed out of the room and slammed the door. _The Tylers never fail to keep things interesting._ I looked to Sam, who wore a strange expression. If I didn't know better, I would have sworn he was holding back a laugh. We sat there in silence until Dean returned, feeling too worn down to continue.

Only a minute later, a man burst through the door. My bewildered secretary scrambled in after him.

"I must speak with Dean Winchester." The man said robustly. He looked strangely determined, and he wore an intense expression. His powerful countenance did not match his rough clothing. He was dressed as if he had been living on the streets.

"I am so sorry sir," my secretary said nervously, "I told him you were busy, that he had to make an appointment, but he refused to stop."

I spoke calmly. "Don't worry about it Peggy." Turning toward the strange man, I spoke again, "I don't know who you are, and I don't know who Dean Winchester is, so if you'll please excuse me—"

"No. I know that Dean is here. That's his brother right there." The strange man pointed at Sam. _What is he talking about?_

I glanced over at Sam, who was wide-eyed. "Uh, can I speak to you for a minute Cas?" _Cas? As in Castiel? _This_ was Dean's secret lover?_ Sam got up and grabbed the man—Castiel, I suppose—by the wrist and led him into the hallway. My poor secretary stood there in a state of utter confusion and stared at me. I was unable to speak, so I gestured for her to leave. She quietly left the room and I sat there in silence, waiting for the brothers to return and enlighten me as to what the hell was going on._ I said it once, and I'll say it again. The Tylers are one weird family._

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**Author's Note: The reviewers have spoken! Meet your new guest character, Castiel! I have to admit, I am extremely excited for the next chapter. I have some great ideas on how to mess with Sam, Dean, and that poor Dr. Andrews. But as always, I would love any suggestions!**


	6. It's A Wonderful Lie

**POV: Dean Winchester (aka Dean Tyler)**

I walked out of the bathroom angrily. _What am I going to tell the Doc?_ He was totally convinced that I was gay for Cas. As I walked back to the office, I contemplated ditching, but figured that I'd never get my baby back that way. My poor Impala. I couldn't believe that Bobby was still holding her hostage.

_What the—! _Standing in front of the door was Sam and our feathery little friend.

"Castiel, what the hell are you doing here?" He turned to me and looked relieved.

"Dean, I must speak with you. It's about the case you've—"

"Look Cas, this isn't a great time. Bobby's got us seeing a shrink, and he's waiting in that room for us to talk about our damn feelings. We have to get back in there before he gets suspicious."

"May I come?" he asked. I looked at Sam, who shrugged.

"Why not? He can't screw things up any more than they already are." _Thanks for the help Sam._

"No, Cas. Just…no. It's too complicated as it is and—" Sam cut me off.

"Dean, just let him come. I know you're pissed at me, but let it go. There's nothing Cas can do to make things worse. Besides, Dr. Andrews already knows Cas is here. He's going to be asking about him anyway." I looked from my brother to Cas, and finally gave up. _Shit._

"I am _so_ gonna regret this. Fine Cas, you can come." Cas looked overjoyed. "But you have to know a few things. First of all, anything we say, go with it. We've had to tell a lie or two in order for the Doc to believe us, so you might be confused. Second, don't talk about anything an average human thinks isn't real. Third, don't go all 'angel of the lord' on the guy. Act like a normal human being, got it?"

Cas nodded seriously. "I understand."

Sam reached for the doorknob and gestured for us to be quiet. "Come on guys, let's go in."

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**Author's Note:** **Has it seriously been a week since I published the last chapter? I am so sorry, it was a very busy week! I know that this is a short chapter, but I wanted to put something up while I finished the real chapter. It should be up by the end of today, so please be patient! Hope you like it though, it's gonna be great!**


	7. Our Little Angel

**POV: Castiel (aka Castiel DeAngelo)**

I followed Sam and Dean into the office, and watched them sit down on a couch facing the Doctor. I stood diligently by the couch, not wanting to be in anyone's way.

I was there for a while before Sam and Dean started to give me strange looks. "Uh, Cas, you want to take a seat?"

"Oh, yes. Thank you." I noticed Dean sigh, appearing frustrated. _Am I doing something wrong?_ I walked swiftly over to the couch and sat down carefully in the space between Sam and Dean.

Sam began to speak. "Well Dr. Andrews, this is…Castiel DeAngelo. He is Dean's…friend. The guy we were talking about." _Why had they been talking about me?_ "He's the one who told Dean that Ruby was in the mafia." The…mafia? As in organized crime? Why would I tell them that? I never….oh! I was supposed to play along!

"Yes. I told Dean that Ruby was in the mafia." I gave an affirming nod and fell silent. Dr. Andrews gave me a look that I could not interpret.

"All right then. May I ask why you are here?"

"I was coming to tell Dean that demons were causing the—" Dean cut me off.

"Cas, isn't that information _confidential_?"

"Not really, it—"

"Cas, remember what I said about going all 'angel of the lord'?" _Oops. _He turned to Dr. Andrews. "Sorry Doc, just ignore that. It was just…code words. Long story—don't ask." Dr. Andrews began writing something down on the notepad that was lying in his desk.

"So I suppose you two are rather close."

"Yes." I answered.

"No." Dean snapped.

I turned to Dean, feeling rather hurt. I had pulled him from hell, pieced his soul back together, saved his life many times over, and we weren't _close_? He looked embarrassed. _What was going on here?_

"Interesting…" Dr. Andrews continued writing. "Dean, Castiel seems to think that you two are very close. Why do you disagree? You are close enough to have your own code words, isn't that right?"

"Er, well, yeah. Sorta. We're really not that close, we just kinda see each other a lot—wait, no. I mean—shit." Dean was completely flustered, yet Sam seemed like he was about to burst out laughing. And why did Dean seem like he was trying to hide something?

Sam spoke up. "Dean, we've already talked about this. Don't try and lie about it now." He smiled. Dean glared back at him. Sam continued, "Cas, isn't it true that you show up at our door unexpectedly all the time?"

"Yes, I suppose it is."

"And don't you meet up with Dean in the middle of the night quite often?"

"Well, yes, but I usually just meet with Dean in his dreams."

The doctor looked taken aback. "I'm sorry, what?"

"He dreams of me, Doctor, and I speak with him this way." It wasn't really that hard to understand.

Sam, for whatever reason, was ecstatic. Dean, on the other hand, looked a bit sick. The Doctor was starting to look a little uncomfortable as well, but he continued on. "Is this true Dean? Do you…dream of Castiel?"

"Of course not!"

"But Dean, what about those times you told me that Castiel spoke to you in your dreams?" Sam piped in.

"Well I guess you could say…I mean—you know what, fine. You're right. I dream about Cas sometimes. Is that a problem with you homophobes?" _Homophobes? Why would he call them that? _I hope the meaning hadn't changed since the last time I checked. I did have a tendency to misunderstand human "slang".

"Of course not Dean," the doctor said calmly, "We've just been trying to get you to accept yourself and be open with your brother. It would seem that this is the root cause of your family's instability."

Dean was losing it. "The root cause! This is definitely NOT what screwed up our family!" He was shouting at this point. I was getting worried, and evidentally, so was Sam.

"Dean, calm down. Just tell me, what do _you _think 'screwed up' your family."

"I will not calm down. I don't know exactly what screwed up our family. Maybe it was our mom's early death. Maybe it was the fact that our dad had us moving from place to place every other week. Maybe rock salt and gunpowder let off poisonous fumes that messed with our heads over the years. Maybe it's the near-death experiences we face on a daily basis. Maybe it was the four months in hell. Or maybe, just maybe it's the fact that I'm sitting here arguing over whether or not I'm gay for an angel!" _What on Earth just happened? _The doctor looked scared and confused. We all sat there in silence while Dean quietly fumed.

After a good three minutes, Sam finally broke the silence. "Dr. Andrews, I think we should go. We'll be back tomorrow…probably." And with that, he led Dean out of the room. I stood up to follow them, but before I could leave, the doctor stopped me. He waited for the Winchesters to leave before speaking.

"Look Castiel, you seem like a nice guy, but I'm a little concerned about Dean's mental health, and I don't think that you are good for him. I'm sure you mean well, but it would appear that the things you told him about Ruby have made him a tad bit paranoid—actually, he's borderline psychotic. It isn't really my place to say, but I don't think you two should be seeing each other anymore." _Seeing each other?_

"Doctor, I think you are a bit mistaken. We are not in a relationship, if that is what you are implying. I am simply his protector, by divine orders. I am the one who brought him back from hell."

"What? I have to say your code words or whatever are throwing me off, but did you just say that you were the one who saved Dean from enemy imprisonment during the war?"

"Well that is one way to put it, I guess, but yes. I was the one to piece his soul back together."

"And by that, you mean you helped him recuperate from the war, right?"

"I suppose."

"Oh, well then, I—I'm sorry. I think Sam has misunderstood this situation. Maybe you should explain it to him a little better."

"No, he knows very clearly what the 'situation' is. Now I really must go, I still have to talk to Dean about the demons." I rushed out the door before the Doctor could ask another question. I glanced at him before I shut the door. The Doctor, for whatever reason, seemed very confused. _Humans are strange, strange creatures._ And with that thought, I left the room and caught up to Sam and Dean, who were arguing in the parking lot.

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**Author's Note: Well here's the real chapter. Sorry I took so long, but I hope you enjoyed it!**


	8. No Rest For The Ridiculous

**POV: Bobby Singer (aka Bobby Tyler)**

"Dean, just calm down."

"I will not calm down! Leave me the hell alone Sam!"

_Aw hell, what did I miss?_ I was a few steps away from the door of my own house, and this was what I was hearing. _Can't those boys do anything without getting themselves into trouble?_ I debated whether or not to turn around and walk away, but decided against it. I walked in quietly, trying to avoid them. I had no such luck.

"You!" Dean yelled, pointing viciously at me, "This is all YOUR fault!" _Should've left when I had the chance._

"What are you yellin' about, and why the hell is it my fault?"

"I just spent the last hour trying to persuade an unwanted and unneeded psychiatrist that I am not, in fact, gay for Cas. Meanwhile, I had my idiot brother and our clueless feathered friend making everything worse." I hadn't even noticed Castiel sitting their quietly. "And YOU were the one who made us go to the damn therapy!" _Oh great._

"This wouldn't be a problem if you two would do _something_ other than argue for more than five minutes! It's all you ever do anymore!"

"You think we use to argue a lot? Just wait. It's only getting worse. You heard us on that first day of therapy. Did it sound like we were getting better? What about when we had to start telling lies in order make a coherent explanation for our lives? You think that's helping? And then there's Cas. He comes in at the worst possible time and ends up supporting every lie Sam had said to the damn shrink. After all of that, do you seriously think we're going to stop arguing?"

"You could at least _try_! The three of you are impossible!"

Castiel, who remained uncertain of exactly what was going on, spoke up. "Do not put this on me. I did nothing but tell the truth. I refuse to agree to the fact that I caused any of this." I turned to the angel. This was getting ridiculous.

"Castiel, why are you even here?"

"I was bringing information about the case that you are working on right now. You were wondering about what created those symbols. I believe you were gone today for the very same reason. I may I have your answer."

"Uh, yeah." _Are all angels this awkward?_ "Anyway, what's this I'm hearing about you two being gay?" Dean scowled at my question. Castiel answered me matter-of-factly.

"There must have been a misunderstanding, but I cleared it up with the Doctor after Sam and Dean left."

"You...what?" Sam asked, looking concerned.

"I told him that he had it wrong, that I was sent by God to protect Dean. He seemed to understand the magnitude of the situation. In fact, it would appear that he already knew there was a war going on between heaven and hell." The poor, oblivious angel smiled rather proudly.

"You idjit!" I all but shouted. "You can't just go around telling people that the world's ending! Don't you get it? Normal people don't know about angels and demons and all that crap!" His smile faded quickly.

"Oh…but I was just trying to help. I thought—" Sam cut him off, looking exasperated.

"Never mind what you thought. We have to make sure he doesn't go spreading this story around. What if that information gets to someone who believes it? We could have a serious problem on our hands."

Dean was still fuming as we headed out to my car. Castiel followed, looking more bewildered than ever. _Aren't angels supposed to be omniscient or something?_ I took the wheel and started driving toward Dr. Andrew's office. _Why do I always end up cleaning their messes?_

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**Author's Note: This was another short chapter, I know, but I needed some kind of transition into what I think will be the final chapter of this story. Much thanks to those who reviewed, it really keeps me motivated (not to mention how helpful critiquing is)! I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far, and I hope you love the end! The next chapter should be up shortly. See you then!**


	9. The End Is Near

**POV: Sam Winchester (aka Sam Tyler)**

We arrived back at Dr. Andrew's office and rushed inside, hoping to stop him before he had the chance to spread the story of our chaotic sessions. It had been a few hours since we had left, and we could only hope he was still there.

"Bobby, what are we even going to do if this is a problem?" I asked.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." He replied gruffly. I sighed. _Great plan._

I burst through the door and walked up to the timid secretary—Peggy, I think. She certainly wasn't happy to see us again. I started talking to her as Dean, Bobby, and Cas made their way over here.

"Hi Peggy. I don't know if you remember me, but I'm Sam Tyler. I was here earlier today with my brother and our friend, and I was wondering if—"

"Oh yes, I remember you very clearly. You're the one with the friend I almost called the cops on." _Yup, that's us._ She reached for something on her desk. "Dr. Andrews gave this to me. He said to give it to you the next time you showed up." She handed me an envelope.

"Okay, that's great, but we really need to speak with him. Is he here right now?"

She shook her head. "About an hour after you left, Dr. Andrews handed that envelope to me and told me to cancel the rest of his appointments for today. He said something about needing a vacation." I heard Bobby scowl.

"Well thank you ma'am," I said, defeated, "Have a nice afternoon." I turned around to leave, and was met with Castiel's inquisitive stare. He opened his mouth to say something, but Dean hit him in the back of the head.

"Just walk, _sweetheart_." He muttered sarcastically.

When we got back to car, Bobby took the wheel again. "What does it say?" he asked. I ripped open the envelope and glimpsed through it. _Oh God. _I laughed. Dean looked at me curiously.

"What does the Doc have to say?" he asked.

"Here, I'll read it out loud;

'_Dear Sam and Dean Tyler,_

_I regret to inform you that I can no longer be your psychiatrist. Honestly, I don't think I can help the two of you. From what I can tell, your problems are rooted much deeper than a couple of recent arguments. From the moment you walked through my doors, someone was always lying, and for the silliest reasons. I couldn't even tell who was the liar half of the time! I doubt that I'll ever understand you and your family, but there are a few things that I know for certain. _

_Dean, you shouldn't feel afraid of talking to your family. Your brother is clearly very supportive of you, no matter what future you choose. He obviously looks up to you, and I would recommend that you treat him better, while he still appreciates you. _

_On the other hand, Sam, you have to realize that Dean is only trying to look out for you. Whether or not Ruby is in the mafia, I don't really know. However, you should understand that your brother had your best interests at heart. The only real advice I can offer is to talk to each other and really listen, because as much as you hate to admit it, you both care._

_Again, I apologize for leaving you two like this, but your constant lies and the general insanity surrounding your case has actually forced me to take an early vacation. I could tell from the beginning that your case would be interesting, but this was just ridiculous. When Castiel showed up, it was just too much. Goodbye Sam and Dean, and good luck sorting out your lives._

_-Thomas Andrews, MD '"_

We sat there, completely taken aback. Even Cas seemed surprised by the doctor's letter. After a couple moments of silence, Dean turned to Bobby. "Does this mean I get my Impala back?"

"You idjit."

* * *

**Author's Note: I am so sorry about the delay! Has it seriously been three weeks since the last chapter? Very, very sorry! But anyway, that's it. I hope you enjoyed the story, because I certainly did. If you liked it, I would also recommend my other Supernatural comedy: The Internet Is A Scary Thing. It's just a one-pager, but it's pretty good!**


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